Jesy Nelson on her Little Mix departure
Jesy Nelson admitted she was, 'miserable,' in Little Mix, and feels much better now that she's left the band.
The singer opened up to Cosmopolitan this week about her experience.
Jesy told the outlet that before Little Mix, she would have considered herself a solid 9/10 or 10/10 in looks.
She recalled, 'I had no insecurities, I never looked at myself and said, "I don’t like that."'
'When I got in the band, my confidence was zero.'
'Once I got older and I learned not to care as much, I probably got to a 4.5.'
'And then I’d say now I’ve left, I’m a solid 8.5,' Jesy admitted.
The singer is in a much better place now since leaving the girl band.
She said, 'I didn’t know that I could be this happy.'
'I thought when I was in the group that it was just normal to feel that way.'
'And because I’d felt like that for 10 years, I just thought, "This is life." Since I’ve left, I feel free.'
'I don’t wakeup with anxiety, thinking, "I’ve got to do a music video today, I need to starve myself."'
'Or, "I need to go on an extreme diet so I can look like the other three." That was consuming me.'
Jesy spent most her time comparing herself to her fellow band mates: Perrie, Jade and Leigh-Anne.
'Of course, a lot of that was in my head, but a lot of it was past trauma,' she said.
'Even recently, I was still getting compared to them.'
'It’s horrible when you already don't like something about yourself to then have thousands of people point it out.'
'I can’t believe how miserable I was'
She continued, 'Now I feel like me. When I look back [at my time] in the band, I genuinely wasn't me.'
'I can’t believe how miserable I was.'
Had she pursued a solo career on The X Factor, Jesy believes she wouldn't have been trolled as much.
'The X Factor was so used to having typical girl groups that were very skinny, and looked how girl groups are, 'supposed,' to look.'
'We were these little scruff bags who just wore what we wanted, and everyone was like, "This is different."'
'I was bigger than the other three, and there's never really been that in a girl group. I was classed as the obese, fat one.'
Jesy insisted it was important for her mental health that she take a step back from the band.
She said she reached, 'breaking point,' while filming the Sweet Melody music video.
The artist was loving life in lockdown, but that all faded when she was told she had to shoot a video with the girls.
'[being in lockdown] was the happiest I'd ever felt, and I didn’t realise that until I went back to work.'
'I immediately became a different person. I had anxiety.'
'Whenever we had a music video, I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to try and lose weight.'
Jesy revealed she had a panic attack during filming.
She remembered feeling jealous because her band mates, 'were having the time of their life.'
'I get so jealous, because I want to feel like that and enjoy it, because music is my passion.'
Jesy felt like she was, 'difficult,' to work with
Now that she's out of the band, Jesy said she doesn't have to worry about what she eats, or what she wears.
'I don’t have to worry about having a music video or doing an interview wearing an outfit that I don't want to wear because three other girls want to wear it.'
The singer said she often felt like she was, 'difficult,' to work with, 'and it’s [a] horrible [feeling].'
'I felt like I was coming into an environment, sometimes, where people didn’t want me to be there.'
'Sometimes I wasn’t a positive energy because I was so down.'
'When you feel that way anyway, to be around certain people on my team that didn't want me there was hard.'
The 29-year-old was asked to describe how she felt when she was in Little Mix in three words.
She replied, 'honest, hardworking, sad.'
But now that she's out of the band, she feels, 'Honest, content, [and] free.'
We can't wait to see what's next for Jesy Nelson!
Meanwhile, her former band mate Leigh-Anne Pinnock has announced she's pregnant.
Read more here.
