Lady Gaga talks mental health struggles
**Warning: The following article contains details of rape, sexual violence and suicide**
Lady Gaga revealed she fell pregnant after she was raped in her teens, and she suffers from PTSD as a result.
The brave artist shared her story during an appearance on Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry's The Me You Can't See.
The series features conversations about mental health from people all over the world.
In the first episode, Gaga spoke about her own struggles, and where they stemmed from.
She revealed she used to, "cut [herself]," when she was very young.
Gaga explained, "I do believe that those urges from me came from a place of, 'I need to show the hurt inside.'"
On the verge of tears, she revealed she was just 19-years-old when a music producer told her to take off her clothes.
"And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all of my music."
"They didn't stop"
She continued, "And they didn't stop. They didn't stop asking me, and I just froze and I just..."
"I don't even remember," Gaga broke down crying.
"And I will not say his name."
"I understand this Me Too movement, and I understand people feel real comfortable with this, and I do not."
"I do not ever want to face that person again," she insisted.
The A Star Is Born actress revealed she went to the doctor years later, after falling seriously ill.
Her doctor introduced her to a psychiatrist, because the pain she was feeling was PTSD.
"First I felt full-on pain, then I went numb... and then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after, and I realised that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner, at my parents' house because I was vomiting and sick."
"Because [I was] being abused. I was locked away in a studio for months."
"I was not the same girl"
Gaga went on, "I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl."
"The way that I feel when I feel pain was how I felt after I was raped."
"I've had so many MRIs and scans where they don't find nothing. But your body remembers."
The Poker Face singer insisted cutting yourself and throwing yourself against a wall only makes you feel worse.
"You think you're going to feel better because you're showing somebody, 'Look, I'm in pain.' It doesn't help."
"I always tell people, 'Tell somebody, don't show somebody.'"
Gaga continued, "Even if I have six brilliant months, all it takes is getting triggered once to feel bad."
"And when I say I feel bad, I mean I want to cut. Think about dying."
"Wondering if I’m ever going to do it. I learned all the ways to pull myself out of it."
"I feel a lot of shame about it"
At the end of the episode, after others had told their stories, Gaga appeared back on camera.
She said, "I don’t tell this story for my own self-service, because, to be honest, it’s hard to tell."
"I feel a lot of shame about it."
The 35-year-old said she hates admitting she's, "miserable," when she has so much privilege, money and power.
"I’m not here to tell my story to you because I want anybody to cry for me. I’m good."
"But open your heart up for somebody else, because I’m telling you, I’ve been through it and people need help."
"So, that’s part of my healing, being able to talk to you."
You can watch Lady Gaga in The Me You Can't See on Apple TV+ from today.
If you or anyone you know has been affected by sexual violence you can contact the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre on 1800 778 888.
