Demi Lovato opens up
Demi Lovato opens up about her eating disorder and the controlling team of people she once had around her during a chat with Ellen this week.
The singer is finally making her 2020 comeback with new music after a very difficult few years.
During the interview, Ellen reveals she had just found out that Demi's old team of people used to hide all of the sugar in her dressing room when she visited the show.
Demi admits, "I didn't know that until today too."
She continues, "But I lived a life for the past six years that I felt wasn't my own because I struggled really hard with an eating disorder, yes, and that was my primary problem and then it turned into other things."
"My life, I just felt it was so... and I hate to use this word, but I felt it was controlled, by so many people around me."
Demi's team controlled everything she did
Demi recalls how her old team would remove the phone from her hotel room so she couldn't call room service.
She says if there was any fruit in her room, they'd take it out, "Because that's extra sugar."
The former Disney stars admits, "For many years, I didn't even have a birthday cake."
Demi says, "I had a watermelon cake, where you cut your watermelon into the shape of a cake and you put fat free whipped cream on top and that was your cake."
"I just really wanted birthday cake, so this year when I turned 27, you know, I have a new team, and Scooter Braun, my manager, gave me the best birthday cake."
She reveals, "I spent it with Ariana Grande, who is one of my good friends, and we just had the best birthday and I just remember crying because I was finally eating cake with a manager that didn't need anything from me and that loved me for who I am and supported my journey."
Demi adds, "I think at some point it becomes dangerous to try to control someone's food when they're in recovery from an eating disorder."
Demi's relapse
The Solo singer was admitted to cedars-Sinai hospital after suffering from an overdose in the summer of 2018.
Demi's relapse followed six years of sobriety.
She tells Ellen what made her throw it all away, "I have to preface it with the fact that I got sober at 19. So I got sober at an age where I wasn't even legally allowed to drink."
The singer goes on, "So I got the help that I needed at the time and I took on the approach of a one size fits all solution, which is sobriety, just sobriety."
"My whole team took that approach and we did it and we ran with it for a long time."
Demi reveals, "My bulimia got really bad and I asked for help and I didn't receive the help that I needed."
"So I was stuck in this unhappy position."
"Here I am sober and I'm thinking to myself, "I'm six years sober, but I'm miserable.""
""I'm even more miserable than I was when I was drinking. Why am I sober?'"
Demi shared her feelings with her team
Demi shared these feelings with the people on her team by text message.
They walked away from her and accused her of being, "Selfish," for feeling this way.
The singer admits she's struggled with abandonment issues ever since her father left when she was a child.
She says her team's decision to leave played on that fear - so she drank as a coping mechanism.
Demi reveals, "That night I went to a party and there was other stuff there and it was only three months before I ended up in the hospital with an OD."
"Ultimately, I made the decisions that got me to where I am today."
"It was my actions that put me in the position that I'm in."
Demi tells the audience, "I think it's important that I sit here on this stage and tell you at home or you in the audience or you right here that if you do go through this, you yourself can get through it."
"You can get to the other side and it may be bumpy, but you are a 10 out of 10, don't forget it."
She finishes up, "And as long as you take the responsibility you can move past it and learn to love yourself the way you deserve to be loved."
In other Demi Lovato news, she recently shared the story of how she opened up to her parents about her sexuality.
Read that here.
Cover photo: The Ellen Show
